Trust

In my life there have been trials, heartaches, criticisms, failed expectations, triumphs, a love greater than I could have ever imagined,  faithful friends,  sunshine, darkness, physical pain, great loss, but now...after walking through these years, there is hope and joy, comfort, love, encouragement, challenge, desire, focus, trust...a new life. Ageless songs speak of His walk with me; His talking with me; His carrying me; His challenging me. I live there.

This person, this Creator, this lover, this strength giver, blesses my every thought, my every move, my every desire. My hope is built on a perfect trust in His undying love.

Can I walk without this trust? Yes. I can follow the lead of the world placing my focus on things or achievements even accolades but I cannot be my utmost for His highest choosing the world's pathway. It is a deep and trial-filled rabbit hole without an exit to glory. Eternity is promised when I choose Him. Its pathway is not without potholes - choices - but keeping in mind His love and the blessings that await I cannot but choose to follow Him.

All in, I trust. I have hope. I am comforted by His presence and His Word. To my Father be all the glory. 

"Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.   Genesis 2:7 (NASB)

How easily we become immune to the beauty around us. The picture above cannot even begin to show the expanse of the Amazon River. The river is so immense that at its mouth one cannot see the opposite bank. It flows rapidly - so rapidly that it constantly pulls pieces of the shore away. Large chucks of soil with grass still growing float by as do great logs from regions far upstream. 

When I watch this vast river, I am overwhelmed by God's creation. He created all this beauty and then created man and placed him in it. Honestly, there are no words to explain the feeling that wells up inside when I first step on deck of our boat after a night of rest to drink in the beauty. How could God have known just what would touch my heart that very morning? How could He have anticipated my need to see Him? Ah, but I do...I see His hand in the magnificent sky; in the swift flowing water; I hear the sound of children's laughter in the village on the bank; and I feel His presence all around me.

Most recently I have been struck by this sense of His presence. As the words in His book come to life in understanding, my trust is strengthened. It's as though His breath passes over the words and invades my heart. Charles Swindoll in his little devotional book, Perfect Trust, challenges my mind to allow my heart to receive His grace. My trust is being perfected. My ultimate goal: perfect trust. As good as it can possibly be. Perfection of trust. Unquestionable trust in His provision, His love, His care, His comfort. He walks with me. In me. How deep His love must be to give such a great gift...His Son...so that He could walk with me. 

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!          Psalm 150:6

Here In His Presence

This morning, as I sat in my quiet time, as I began to ready my mind for prayer, I was overwhelmed with the sense of His presence. If you know me, you know that I believe in His call on my life; in His guidance for my day; in His presence through his Spirit in me; in His presence. 

This morning I learned more. He fills my home. I sat quietly waiting for the words to come - sometimes prayer doesn't just flow - and I was suddenly aware of a feeling of security, of peace, of comfort. And then the thought occurred that He was there. I can often sense His presence but this morning something was different. 

His presence fills my home. Not just me but my home. As I walk through the rooms I know that His love goes with me. I know that He measures my steps; that he invades my thoughts bringing to my mind those that I love or things that I must do. 

The difference today came with the sense of His presence in my physical world. 

I continue to be overwhelmed by Him. Daily I recognize His hand on my life. I have been 'All In' for sometime but now I feel it.

Through

I woke up recently with a different feeling. It took me a few days to actually put my finger on what it was.

There is a clarity to my thoughts. A vividness to nature – His creation. Music stirs my soul again. I caught myself laughing out loud exuberantly. I am excited about tonight’s dinner. There is a joy in my day.

I think the word that best describes what is happening is ‘through.’

I’ve come through. I’m on the other side.

I am not naïve enough to think that ‘it’ is over. Perhaps the reason that I have come ‘through’ is because I have realized, learned, understood that the process is just that, a process. For me and many of my widowed friends, it’s a process that we realize will never come to an end. It is ongoing. It is lifelong. There is no conclusion, except for heaven.

39 Hours

In 39 hours one of those big metal birds will lift into the air carrying our team of volunteers. This afternoon as I try to anticipate my personal needs for our 10 days on the river, I am overwhelmed with fatigue. Decisions make me tired. Paper pushing makes me tired. An afternoon cup of coffee didn't help.

But this little Bear did!

All those years ago, 44 to be exact, I knew the call. I remember the excitement of planning; the blessing of resources that friends and church provided; the sense of adventure but the fear of the unknown. I knew the call. 

So in 39 hours I will go to answer the call. I have prepared myself. I've studied methods of sharing; I've watched videos so as to better understand our new focus; I've prayed; I've asked friends to pray - basically I have worked to cover all the bases. There is a new understand of the call. I know now that I'm to live that call. My heart is overwhelmed with the desire to help others understand and experience what I feel everyday. I know there has been a change in me in recent months. I know that my past fears are no more. I am convinced that the hand of God is on this team. There will be moments of salvation but more then that there will be minutes and hours of relationships. 

My challenge to you my prayer warrior partners is this: Ask the Father to open the doors to the hearts we'll be touching. Create and build relationships with the people of San Jose. Let us be loving examples of the words above - God is love.